As the year changes, thoughts easily revolve around the past and the future. What has this year taught me and what I hope for next year. This year I have been through huge internal changes. I've made a journey to my inner self. I have learned to know myself better. Learned to love myself. Discovered whole new dimensions in my life. At the same time, I have lived a rather secluded life. Of course due to covid, but also for other reasons. This year, our family has had a number of different challenges that have taken up energy, especially towards the end of the year.
For those closest to me, my behavior over the past year and years has probably seemed selfish and some may have been offended by my silence. My seclusion began several years ago when depression took me into darkness. I’ve found out that when I am feeling low, the more I want to be myself. Depression affected both my physical and mental health. As I gradually got better, the world was taken over by covid and our family faced other challenges. Somehow it was easy to continue living as a hermit. Sure, I’m an introvert, so I enjoy being alone and in recent years have also accepted this trait of myself.
I have lived most of my life without really knowing myself. I haven’t wanted / dared to look inside and explore what’s there. In recent years, I have made great discoveries and perhaps that is why I have needed more solitude than usual.
This year I have continued to study myself. Sometimes more intense, sometimes taking a break. The end of the year I have just needed to rest. The many challenges of the fall took my energy, and I haven’t been able to do even the things I enjoy and get energy from. But, I feel that breaks and rest are also important in life. The body and mind must occasionally rest and digest everything they have learned. You have to be merciful to yourself. If the body and mind shout that they need rest, then you should rest.
This year, I learned how to use my own voice. I have learned to express my own opinion. It has been challenging for me because I have suffered from the submission life trap and have therefore sought to please others. At times, expressing one’s own opinion has probably seemed rude to others. I’ve been like a little kid just learning to communicate, I may not have been able to express my opinions politely. However, even in the smallest moments, I have experienced great inner joy, for I dared, I could express myself.
I have learned to write: in the blog, writing course and for myself. Through the blog and the writing course, I have also shared my writings with others. I have learned using my own voice through these activities (opening mythroat chakra ). I have learned to trust intuition, learned to sense energies, tried different kinds of meditations. I have learned to enjoy the moment and love myself. This year I have experienced so many new things and met many lovely people, I can only be thankful.
For the new year, I hope: to continue my studies of myself, to practise selflove, to enjoy writing, to deepen the relationships between me and my husband and my daughter, to deepen other family relationships, and to re-establish / deepen friendships. I hope for love, love, love.
My own journey of finding myseld has given me so much that I hope everyone will experience this someday. Life is so much richer when you venture on this journey. It's not always easy, but it's definitely worth it. So I wish for you all the joy of finding yourself, loving yourself, finding dreams and throwing yourself into the flow of life! Good luck, joy and love for 2022!
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