Hi, my name is Mari. I am a 40 + woman from a small town in northern ostrobotnia, Finland. In this blod I want to share my experiences on findin myself and my inner power. I hope that this will be of help for others in a similar situation. I want to encourage everyone to start the most important journey of their lives, a journey to themselves, a journey towards their own power!
A few years ago, I found myself in a situation where I was very exhausted and my body was starting to fail. I went through several examinations and when no obvious physical reason for my exhaustion was found, I ended up on the therapist’s bench. It was really hard for me to admit to myself that I was depressed. I had suffered from major depression due to infertility and very painful endometriosis. It was relatively easy to accept depression when there were quite “concrete” reasons for it. Now I was in a place where I had everything I had dreamed of when I was young, a good marriage, a lovely daughter, my own house, a good job and even a puppy. How could I be depressed?
I had thought somewhere in my mind that I didn't really know what to expect from my life in the future, or even what I wanted from it. I had suppressed my passion for dreaming about things during my years of infertility. When this biggest dream was threatened tp be taken away, I decided that I would no longer dream of anything so that I would not be disappointed anymore. Really makes sense, doesn't it? I’ve never been good at dealing with difficult situations and emotions, so this seemed like a really good solution. When the years of infertility finally ended with the arrival of our lovely adopted daughter, I was completely immersed in the beauty (and challenges) of being a mother. However, as our daughter grew up, I began to wake up to the fact that now I no longer had any direction for life, especially after our daughter would move out to live on her own in the future. I had completely lost myself and also managed to suppress those good feelings in addition to the bad ones. It just doesn't work so that a person can choose what feelings to have and what not. So I began my long and winding path toward my inner self, my own strength. Still on this path, this blog is one step on that trip. With the blog, I want to learn to open my own voice and inner self to the world and at the same time to myself.
How, then, have I reached this point? I have used several means on my journey, in addition to therapy, I have read a lot of books related to self-knowledge and development, done a lot of different tests on eg. on life traps and personality traits, got acquainted with chakras and different meditations. A big part of my journey has also been to awaken the body-mind connection, yoga and meditation have been a great help there. I want to tell you about these things in this blog and I hope they will help you on your own journey as well. And I promise you, this is the one trip worth taking! Even if at times it feels like the journey is too difficult and there is no progress, don’t give up, the destination is waiting and it’s worth it!
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