Well, it's been really quiet in this blog for a long time now. I have been dealing with the worst depression episode ever for a couple of years and am at the moment slowly climbing back up. There have been better days in between, but great setbacks and losses have delayed getting better several times. During these past couple of years, I have truly dived deeper than ever before, but with the help of a wonderful therapist, I have gradually been able to start processing both old and new wounds.
Work trial and the end of employment
Töihin palaamista yritin viime kesänä työkokeilun kautta, mutta masennuksen ja ahdistuksen oireet palasivat melkein heti pahana. Muutaman viikon kuitenkin yritin, ehkä vähän liian pitkäänkin ennenkuin myönsin, että ei paluu onnistu. Niinpä surkeana ja voimattomana palasin taas sairaslomalle. Lopulta työsuhteeni päättyi ja todennäköisesti tai ainakin toistaiseksi on urani IT-alalla ohi. Vaikeinta oli sanoa hyvästit ihanille työkavereille, mutta onneki yhteys säilyy vaikka töissä ei enää tavatakaan.
Great losses and emotional rollercoasters
I had already been well on my way to recovering from the decline in my well-being caused by the work trial by the end of the year, when we were suddenly struck by the unexpected loss of someone very important to us. They left far too young, due to a sudden medical event. This loss was and is extremely painful and difficult for our family to process; it’s hard to even find the words to describe it. However, through this loss, we also gained some wonderful new people in our lives, so it has truly been an emotional rollercoaster. Maybe someday I will be able to write more about this, but that time is not now.
Working through the grief is still in its early stages, but somehow this loss and the sudden interruption of a life have strengthened in me the feeling that NOW is the time to do all those things I once dreamed of — or didn’t even dare to dream about. No more waiting for the right time; instead, making the time right NOW.
Fulfilling dreams
So, I have set out to express myself in every possible way. Even before the loss of my loved one, I had already started working on setting up my own business. During my sick leave, I fell in love with pottery (thanks to my mother, who encouraged me to join a course) and chainsaw carving (thanks to my husband, who has supported and helped me in this journey). And so, this dream took shape in the form of a business called Kuunveistäjä. I’ve already attended a few fairs with my products, and more wonderful events are on the horizon, with an online store also in the planning stages. You can already find me on From Instagram and facebook under that name.
Jo kauan ennen tuota haavetta, olen haaveillut oman podcastin tekemisestä. Erityisesti Stephen King ja Musta Torni -aiheesta. Ja uskomatonta kyllä, sekin on toteutumassa juuri tällä hetkellä. Ollaan ystävän kanssa julkaisemassa lähiaikoina podcast nimeltä Muitakin Maailmoja. Tää on niin siisti juttu, ettei sanat riitä kertomaan. Mä oon ollu Stephen King -fani jo teini-iästä asti ja Mustaan Torniin hullaannuin vuonna -98, kun sarjan 4. osa tuli suomennettuna. Sarja ja kaikki siihen liittyvä on tullut luettua moneen kertaan läpi ja nyt pääsen lukemaan sitä uudestaan ystävän kanssa, joka ei sarjaa ole aiemmin lukenut. Pääsen (ja podcastin kuuntelijat pääsevät) siis kokemaan Mustan Tornin vähän niinkuin ensimmäistä kertaa uudelleen ystävän silmin. Ja hommanhan ei tarvitse loppua Mustaan Torniin, vaan jos oikein innostutaan ja kuulijoita riittää niin vastaavia podcasteja voi tehdä muistakin kirjoista.
Face to the future
A lot has happened, but writing hasn’t really been flowing. Hopefully, this blog will gradually come back to life as I slowly start to regain my own strength. Chakra work has remained a part of my journey, and through crystals, chakras are also involved in my Kuunveistäjä work. I create crystal jewelry using stones that are meaningful for the chakras, and in my ceramics, I make things like dragons that can hold crystals in their hands or nests. Dragons have become increasingly important to me — you can find them crafted from clay, and my goal is to eventually carve dragons with a chainsaw as well.
I’m still here, continuing to search for my own strength despite various setbacks. Take care of yourselves — you are the most important person in your own life! (Something I often find hard to remember myself.) And chase your dreams NOW, not 'someday.' If you don’t yet have the resources to make them happen concretely, then plan, dream, and keep the dream alive. Do the things that bring you joy and keep your loved ones close. ❤️ And as they say in the world of Dark Tower: 'Long days and pleasant nights!'
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Ja sinulle kaksinverroin ❤️❤️
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Pois pimeydestä, kohti unelmia on juurtuneita, mitä rakkaalle siskolleni haluan! May the force be with you, toista teosta lainatakseni! 😁❤️
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